The Purpose of Boys: Helping Our Sons Find Meaning, by Michael Gurian PDF

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Additional info for The Purpose of Boys: Helping Our Sons Find Meaning, Significance, and Direction in Their Lives

Example text

Though I was glad he was healing, I also felt something as his mother and a woman. It’s hard to describe, but I could understand a little more now the need that adolescent boys have to compete, push, pull, fight, wrestle. There’s something really big going on, and incidents like Connor ’s shiner make me want to understand it and direct it, because it obviously means the world to these guys. Have you been in a similar situation with a boy or young man? Boys going through puberty still have some of the younger boy in them, making anything into a weapon, brandishing their arms in the air, creating battle plans with their friends, feeling the magic in and around them.

A boy’s hippocampus (a major memory center in the brain) is generally less active than that of a girl, especially during most emotional and relational experiences. Living out his developmental journey, a boy may not recall portions of it that a girl will recall, and not be sure what to do next, but a girl can often more fluidly multitask in memory and in her daily life. More than girls, boys will often wish they received more external guidance for what memories are important to their inner motivation, their future success, and their personal power.

Simultaneously, boys are increasingly binge drinking. And though boys have, of course, always engaged in drinking and binge drinking, the rate at which they escape life through binge drinking continues to increase, despite educational and public service programs that aim to help boys stop this dangerous behavior. These boys are often lost, self-medicating through food and drink. • Increasingly, boys are randomly raging against, beating, and killing people. Across the United States, teenagers are finding baseball bats, golf clubs, paintball guns, knives, bricks, and other weapons and trolling the streets for homeless individuals to beat up.

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